I‘m not sure when this was written but I would suppose some time around 1995 and fits in with another article: “Disaster Under 95.”
By Ron Stoloff
I received a call late Sunday afternoon from a PACS member who knew me through my oft anguished articles about the joys of upgrading and he asked me about interrupts.
I know all I need to know about interrupts and that is this: I don’t want to know about interrupts.
If you remember the fun I had getting a non-95 aware sound card to work properly and all the fun I had with other parts of my hardware you’ll understand this feeling.
This gentleman (I won’t mention his name for two reasons:
1. I have a lousy memory for names and
2. I wouldn’t want to embarrass this admitted “hard head” before all of PACS and the Internet.)
who had recently upgraded (shudder!) his machine from a DX100 to a Pentium-class machine and was having problems with his sound card. He wanted to know about the interrupts and settings in the machine so that he could settle this problem. I asked him what operating system he was running and could barely believe him when I heard, “3.1.” “Oh, foolish mortal!” I cried as I begged him not to bother and get 95 at once.
Checking my “Lost World Burger King” watch I realized it was after 5 PM and too late to run down and purchase it, I asked what he did for a living and he replied that he was retired. “Perfect!” I replied, “Get to the CompItAll store Monday morning and buy the upgrade to 95, lest your very sanity be sacrificed!” He replied that he had read my articles that appeared in the ‘Bus and *still* wanted to try to fix this problem. I inquired as to his marital status and if he had any children. His reply was, “I have a wife, grown children and several grandchildren.” “Fine,” I said, “Spend the 10 to 15 hours you would waste on this Sophistic Obligation with your family instead of making Malox rich beyond all reason.”
He ignored my pleading and said, doggedly, “But I want to solve this problem!” I beseeched him, “Even IF you get this monster to work, what have you gained? You will have succeeded in getting an obsolete system to perform when you could have an easier and more coherent system running.” I was even more aghast when he told me that his sound card, CD *and* tape drive were all 95 aware.
He was stubborn beyond all logic.
I then asked him (and this is where our title comes in) whether he remembered his mother telling him when he was a teenager that she knew better because she had gone through a particular type of grief and she was just trying to help him avoid the sad repetition of her mistakes. I then prodded him to admit that he, no doubt, ignored her and fell into the same pitfalls as his dear mother.
Making sure that he understood I was not even suggesting I was on the same plane as his mother, I suggested that just as he should have followed his mother’s long ago exhortation, so should he follow mine. I’ve been there and I will forever bear the scars.
I was only trying to save him from the seductive wails of the Sirens. Will he listen to me or will he wreak his ship, his computer, his marriage, his family his very life, chasing this chimera?
Only time will tell, dear reader, only time will tell…. For I am sure that when he reads this article he will again contact me with the results of his quest: Was it successful though pointless or successful and easy?
I’ll keep you informed.
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